It's Been Awhile

I got new tires! I know that you were all losing sleep at night thinking about poor Crazy Lady driving around on bald tires.

October was a good month. The hubster got a heafty commission check. We were able to get caught up on bills and get new tires and pay the November mortgage payment too. Unfortunately, nothing for the hubster last month and nothing for this month. This sucks. Commission pay sucks. We can't get ahead. If he could have two good months in a row we might get somewhere, but it is either feast or famine for him and everytime we get ahead we fall behind and have to catch back up. Did I say it sucks? Well, it really does.

Can you say sucka?

I don't know why it always happens to me. It never happens to my husband. I have a problem saying no and maybe they can smell that.

Yesterday, I had just finished grocery shopping with my daughter. We were at the store that people go to when they have no money and need food. The one that you have to put a quarter in the slot to use a cart and bring your own grocery bags. So it is raining and I had just put the cart back and retrieved my quarter when a lady in a Ford Ranger pulls up.

"Excuse me Miss." I am thinking she is out of quarters and wants to trade me two dimes and a nickle for a quarter so I walk up to her truck. "My son and I are on our way up from Arkansas to visit my critically ill dad in the hospital. I have been driving for two days..." Oh she wants directions... "and someone broke the window out of my truck, stole my purse and see this cardboard sign that is what I am using for a window, they almost took our radio. I wish they would've taken the radio instead of my purse. And this here is my 14 year old son. So I understand I have about 100 miles to go still and I have no money. I will send you back anything you can spare. I am so embarrassed I just don't know what to do." I only have 6 dollars on me. I give her five and tell her she doesn't need to send it back. She thanks me, tells me to pray for her and her father. I wish her luck. She pulls off and I get in my car. After I left the lot I see her sitting there waiting for another person to ask for money. I wish I would've caught her license plate. I would feel better knowing she was from Arkansas.

So was I taken for $5 or did I do a good deed? I don't know. I'd like to think I did something good and there is a higher power out there that saw it.

This isn't the first time this has happened to me. A year or so ago I was loading all three kids in the truck and a guy came up behind me. Really caught me off gaurd and gave me some weird story about loaning his car to some lady so she could get gas and she hasn't come back and he needed money for the bus or something. I gave him $5 not so much because I believed him, but because he scared me and I thought if I didn't who knows what would've happened.

The Best of The MTV VMAs

No, I didn't watch them. I had to see the season finale of Ice Road Truckers. And then I had to go to bed. I don't even really know what time they were on. I am just guessing. But I love looking at the pictures from the big events and realizing how out of it (read uncool) I am. Here are some of the pictures that caught my eye.

Check out the gal with the golden nipples to the right of Christina.

I call this one toilet paper butt. Does it not look like she has toilet paper stuck in her outfit?

This guy looks like a cross between a horse jockey and something else. I can't figure out what.

Oh Pink. You look like you are wearing a circus tent. What is going on under your big top?

Whip it! Whip it good! Totally reminds me of Divo. What is up with the boots though? Open toe and open heal, but the rest of your foot is totally covered.

Elvira Mistress of the Dark with blonde hair.

Somebody for got to get dressed. And why did she let him out of the house? Why did he let her out of the house in the jungle inspired mumu?

This is Tokio Hotel from what I read. I haven't heard their music, I don't think. Is the lead singer a guy or a girl? I LOVE the guy on the right's shirt. The Best!

I hate classmates.com and reunion.com!

Classmates: Would you like to know who the mystery person is who signed your guest book? Three people signed it already this month.

Crazy Lady: Ummm, sure.

Classmates: Oh you have to pay to see that.

Crazy Lady: Bite me. I don't want to know then.

I got suckered into that once. Paid to see who had emailed me and then paid again cause I didn't cancel and they auto renewed me. I don't have extra cash in my account for that crap.

Reunion.com: A 32 year old male from Georgia has searched for you.

Crazy Lady: I don't know anyone in Georgia. I don't think I do.

Reunion.com: Want to see who it is?

Crazy Lady: Ummm, sure.

Reunion.com: Oh you have to pay to see that.

Crazy Lady: Bite me. I don't want to know then.

I need new tires people. I can't afford to see who is looking for me that I don't really know at all or probably don't remember. If they really want to find me I can be googled without a problem. I think they have people who work for them do these searches to try and get you to pay. I really do. Maybe I can get a side job doing that to pay for some new tires...

Do you ever wonder...

If you ended up with the person you were supposed to? Every now and then, sometimes more often, I wonder if I should still be with Dave. What would life be like if I hadn't broken his heart in high school? It didn't take long for me to start regretting what I had done. And Dave seemed to have changed overnight.
We were in a psych class together and he had shoes that I liked. I think they were Vans. Different than the other boys, his hair was kind of floppy and he was a little pudgy and wore glasses. He was a year younger than me. I just liked him and we somehow started going out. It wasn't long and he was head over heals in love with me. And I really loved him too. I remember my friends telling me how he would look at me and smile when I was further down the hall talking to someone else and he would say "isn't she cute?" I remember sitting with him in a parking lot in his car in the rain one night. I remember going out to Max & Ermas for one of our however many month long anniversaries. He had gotten me a ring with his birthstone and mine, a sapphire and a little diamond. I remember him saying he could picture marrying me one day. I remember picking him up for school when his car broke down. I remember him driving me when mine was in the shop. I took his virginity. I wish I could say my first time was with him, but it wasn't. We went to his prom together. Then shortly after that I decided I didn't want to be tied down to the same boy my whole senior year of high school. I had already bought my dress for senior prom and told him I needed some space. I went to my prom with a friend. That summer I missed him terribly and regretted ever breaking up with him. I was at a party at a friend's house and he showed up after most everyone had left. My friend retreated to her room. I tried to tell him I was sorry and that I wanted it all back. He was acting so different. It wasn't the Dave I knew. He was all tough and like too cool for me or something. I think he said no it was over and then he kissed me. And I melted. We had crazy sex on the floor in the foyer. It was different. It was the end. I cried. I don't think I ever saw him again after that.
Now I wonder if he ever went back to being the real Dave. The Dave he was when we were together or if I had changed him forever into that cold, heartless Dave. Maybe he just needed to get back at me for what I had done and has gone on to be a wonderful man. I wish I knew. I would like to know that he is ok. I've googled him and can't really say that I have found him. I just want to email him. I don't like to talk on the phone. I paid for a search thing once and found him in another state. I tried sending him an email through their service. I don't know if it ever got to him. I never heard back. I google him every so often but nothing comes up for him. There is a birdwatcher with the same name, and a preacher, and a guy who plays rugby or something. But they are not my Dave. He must be really careful about his identity or not know about this here internet thing. He isn't on classmates, or reunion, or facebook, or myspace. Argh! I just want to know that he turned out ok.

Nosey Nellies

I work with a bunch of nosey Nellies. They have been getting on my nerves lately. Unfortunatley, my cube walls are only half high and when they walk by they can see what I am doing and what I am eating. And for some reason they always feel the need to comment on it. Why? Just mind your business and keep going ladies.

No instead I get "Oh you are eating healthy today. That looks like a good salad." I know different than my usual chili cheese fries and m&m's. Or "Is that your cat (in reference to the cat picture on the blog I am looking at)?" Um, no. Mind your own business woman. "You don't have cats do you?" No keep walking please.

Am I the only one...

Who thinks up things to post while going about my daily routine? Thinking out each word in my head, and then when I go to actually write the post I can't remember what I had been thinking about. I need to carry a voice recorder around, but then I would have to speak out what I am thinking and I'm not always in a position to where I would want others to hear me talking about what I want to post. For example when hubs is blabbering about his day at work going into every detail it wouldn't be appropriate to break out the recorder and start talking about how I really don't care about what he has to say, how it is always about him, and who cares how my day was. So is it just me?

My Job

I think I am burnt out. I've been at my job for the last 10 years. I have had different positions within the same group. I think I have had enough though. I'm unmotivated. My job is date driven. If I don't have anything due in the next day or two I don't do anything. I can't seem to work ahead. I used to be on top of my game. I used to have everything all organized and color coded. Now I just don't care. I do what I need to get by and nothing more. There is little or no reward for doing extra so why bother? I'm not worried about losing my job cause I still do what I need to. There are people who do nothing and are still around. The place I work is so afraid of being sued it takes a lot to get fired. In ten years I don't think I have ever seen anyone actually get fired. They clear out the poor performers when they do massive job cuts. Or they move them on to a different group.
I've tried looking for another job, but the economy is terrible. The only thing in the paper by me is the Men's Club looking for dancers. After having 3 kids, I don't think I am qualified for that position.

Hmm...

So yesterday, after I piqued my own interest, I had to go check out http://deepthoughts.blogspot.com/. Not as scary as I had feared. A lonely 50 something. I wonder if he is hot. I wonder if he has money. Maybe he will be my sugar daddy. I know I am married, but I would like a sugar daddy to buy me things. Not extravagant things, but like new tires for my car. I need new tires. There just isn't enough money for tires. Other things come first like food, daycare, and actually paying the bills once in awhile. Are there people out there that would adopt a family and give them money? Awhile ago I thought it would be neat if there was a program for all the lonely people in the world to adopt a family. Then they would have somewhere to go at the holidays and in turn they could help support the family. Sound like a good idea? I wonder if any rich lonely people would buy into it. I know there already is an adopt a family program and we buy gifts for some random anonymous family at Christmas, but my vision would be different. There would be an independantly wealthy individual and he/she would get to hang out with my family at Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, go to the zoo, have family picnics, etc. and in exchange they would buy me tires, or help pay the bills once in awhile. Anyone want to volunteer?

It's About Time

This blog has been sitting awhile waiting for someone to come and post something. And here it is. WOW! I feel like it has to be monumentous because it is the first post. I don't want it to be depressing cause then that would be getting this blog off on the wrong foot. Though I can't say all the posts here will be puppies and daisies. The name is Thought that are Deep after all. BTW- Deep Thoughts was already taken. I haven't checked it out. It could be scary.

So here is something that has bothered me. Have you noticed the paper seat covers that are in the women's bathrooms? They weren't there 10 years ago, were they? I'd say 3-5 years ago they became a fixture in the women's bathroom. I can't speak for the men's bathroom. I imagine they are in there too. In the stalls. Anyways... I grew up putting two strips of toilet paper on the seat before I did my business in the public rest room. Or I did the hoover if it was really nasty. I just can't get used to the paper covers. They are so light weight that they fly off in the breeze created by pulling down your pants, or in the whoosh created when you go to sit. And then there is the punch out center. Are you supposed to punch it out before you put it down or do you let your pee stream push it down? The few times I have used these I punched it out first because I was afraid the pee would pool up on the thin paper and then I would be all wet. I'll stick to my toilet paper strips, or if I am especially brave I will risk it and go bare cheek on the toilet seat like I would do at home. Has anyone ever really caught anything from sitting on a toilet seat? Maybe I will carry some sanitizer around and start wiping down the seat before I squat. Have you noticed what it says on the packaging for the paper seat covers? "Provided by the Management for your protection". Who exactly is the Management that decided to use some of the budget to provide these? And why do they want to protect my A$$?